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Confidence vs Arrogance

Confidence vs. Arrogance

We’re all well aware that women want a man that projects an image of confidence and self-assurance. The question is, do we go out of our way to display it, or does it naturally display itself? How does one properly show confidence, and where does it tread into arrogance?

We’re going to do something different in this article and create an open discussion. Here are some quotes and videos as food for thought. I’d love to hear your opinions in the comment area. I’ll be chatting with you there. Let’s dive right into this.

Confidence

These are some quotes that other people have said regarding confidence:

Confident people have a broader sphere of influence, and earn more loyalty and respect than those who just use bravado.”

If what you’re seeking is lasting relationships, long-term success and quality of life in all areas then you will be better served to forego the pompous acts of the arrogant for the humility and quiet confidence displayed by true leaders.”

Confident people are totally okay with other people knowing nothing about what they have accomplished.”

The truth is that being an arrogant person may serve you in the short term, it rarely relates in lasting relationships built on a foundation of loyalty and trust. Arrogant people will usually find themselves surrounded by lots of fair-weather friends who try to exploit them for things, but at the first sign of trouble all you will see is their backs as they run for the hills.”

I think you can always tell how confident a person is about themselves by the way they respect or treat the ‘little people,’ they never look like they are trying hard to impress other people, and never put others down around them to come out the better person.”

Arrogance

I think it’s okay to be arrogant as long as you’re getting the desired outcomes you want.”

Arrogance is fine, it conveys a sense of power to control situations and others which is essential in leadership.”

Accomplished people naturally come off as arrogant.”

Being both a cocky and funny guy is one of the surefire ways to spark attraction with women.”

Share Your Thoughts

I realize that this is a very controversial subject, especially to those who consider themselves confident or have been called arrogant. Share your thoughts on this subject! I’m going to get as many women as I can to join in on this conversation, so ask your girl friends to share their input as well.

Here are some questions to start off a discussion:

Do you think arrogance ever pays off?

When does confidence turn into arrogance?

To the women out there:

Do you think cocky or arrogant guys are attractive?

What is the difference to you between an arrogant guy and a confident guy?

3 Keys To A Lasting Impression

1) From the First Moment: Treat Her As If She’s Already Your Best Friend

Have you ever met a girl for the first time, and she made you feel like you’ve known her for years? So much so, that you felt so at ease and comfortable with her?

I had this huge “act as if they’re your best friend” realization when I was a lot younger. I met a girl who treated me like her best friend upon our first meeting and I instantly got sucked into the frame that we were actually super close, and we literally became best buddies overnight.

I started recognizing this behavior in all the really social people who had a lot of friends, and started doing it myself. The results were amazing, and till this day I count it as one of the most important concepts to creating instant rapport.

A lot of guys tend to put on a veil of politeness for the first few meetings with a girl - they hold back, treating the girl with a polite “respect” so as not to offend her in any way. The truth is that this isn’t the real you. You don’t act like this around your friends so why would you in front of someone who you want to become your friend?

After the first meet she may think you’re a nice guy, but chances are high that she won’t go out of her way to see you again.

Bottom line: Treat every girl you meet for the first time like you’ve known them for years. They’ll instantly feel close to you and let their guards down.

Your outcome should never be to “pick her up.” She’ll sense that instantly, and she will put you in the same category as every other skeeveball out there. Instead, your outcome should just be to have a great time and make sure all your friends have a great time.

Speaking of other friends, make sure you’re giving equal attention to them and not just her. You shouldn’t be giving her too much special attention all night.

2) Establish That You’re a Positive and Fun Guy

For a lot of guys the question is whether they have to be the aloof and mysterious James Bond character or the really goofy guy.

The answer is neither.

All you need is to keep a positive attitude and show girls that you know how to have fun.

The opposite extreme of this - which you should avoid at all costs - is to sulk in the corner and give off a negative vibe. Pretty much avoid anything negative like gossip or touchy subjects.

You may feel like you need to be really good at talking about intellectual things or impressing her with interesting stories - but you can display the other sides of your great personality later. All you have to do upon the first meet is to establish that you’re really fun.

Women will respond so much better to the emotional state you’re in than anything you say or do. The impression you’ll make is almost all about how much you can pump her with good emotions. She’ll link all those positive emotions to you and will never forget how she felt when you two were together.

Once you’ve established yourself as a fun guy, they’ll definitely want to hang out with you again - no question. They’ll usually be the one to ask you for your number before you even think about it. This is because it’s so refreshing and rare to meet someone who is full of energy and fun.

Don’t forget to make sure all her friends are having fun too. This is very important. The way to really win over a woman is to win over her friends. If her friends like you, they’ll keep talking about how great you are to her even when you’re not - pretty much doing all the work for you if you plan on taking it further.

Whenever I see that part of the group is not having fun at the club, I’ll just go up to them and start dancing or screaming “wooo!” to get them laughing and having fun. Focus on the weakest links and bring them up. The girl will see that you’re taking care of her friends and love you for it. Her friends will also love you.

3) Be “Dressed to The Nines”

Whatever your style is, make sure you’re feeling totally confident about the way you look before you go out. You should pretty much know for a fact that you look damn good.

If you dress well, a woman will make a thousand positive judgments about you before you utter a word. So do yourself a huge favor and make it vastly easier on yourself to make a great impression. So much of the way we are perceived by others is through the way we dress.

Of course you should be dressed to the occasion, and not be wearing your three-piece suit to a casual dinner with friends. But definitely dress to impress - you’ll be that much more memorable than all the other guys.

It’s All About The Details

Along with these keys, remember that a lot of your impression will be from the little things you do.

We can always tell the most about someone through the seemingly insignificant acts.

It’s the nonchalant moments when someone isn’t “trying” that their true character and personality is revealed.

For example, you can tell what principles and values people have by the way they way they hold a door, clean up after themselves, or the way they might always ask you if you want some of their delicious sandwich.

Women will see the way you listen to someone who’s talking to you, the way you handle a negative comment, the way you help a friend who needs it.

So much of your character is in the HOW you do things, rather than the what. And it’s always the smallest things that reveal the most about you.

Conclusion

Everytime you go out with a group of friends and you meet a new woman, always remember to:

1) Treat her like she’s already your best friend

• Be enthusiastic to meet her as if she’s your long lost friend
• Act as if she already thinks of you as her close friend
• Your outcome should not be to pick her up but try to establish a close friendship first

2) The first day - establish that you can be really fun

• Scratch the aloof, James Bond approach and aim for a fun, laughter-filled vibe instead
• Worry about displaying your deeper personality later on, and on the first date, just focus on showing her your fun side - this will ensure she’ll want to see you again

3) Never leave the house without looking your best

• ”Dress to the nines” and you’ll automatically exude a level of confidence without saying a word

Simple right? Not quite.

Try and master these three keys with every woman you want to befriend and share your thoughts and experiences in the comments!

Thanks for reading guys,

Steps For Becoming Highly Attractive

Think of your personality as a pie chart that other people can examine. What’s your most attractive quality?

Have you ever been attracted to someone based on one great quality they had? Maybe it was their positivity. Maybe every time you were around them you laughed and had a good time. Maybe you learned massive amounts of interesting stuff whenever you were around them.

Here are some steps to reaching your next level of attractiveness:

1. Question: What do you consider some of your best qualities?

We’ve all been complimented on one thing. Maybe you’re the funny one in a group, or maybe you’re known for tearing up the dance floor. Whatever it is, articulate your strength points. Write them down. After you’ve got a few, pick one that people find attractive about you. If you’re not sure about it, ask a friend what your best quality is and what they love most about you.

2. Cultivate Your Strength Areas

You already have the upper hand over many guys in your strength area, and if you build it to maximum capacity you’ll have a monopoly over all the guys out there. ; ]

3. Pick One Weak Point About Yourself

What’s one area of yourself that you haven’t really focused on, but you’ve always wanted to be a strength? If you could have any quality in the world, what would it be? Is it self-discipline? A healthier body? The ability to make more people laugh? To be able to lead a group? List a few weak points you would like to change, and then pick the one that you think would best supplement your strength area. For example, if you were both adventurous, and humorous, that would be one great combination.

4. Begin Building on Your Weakest Point Immediately

You already have a strength area, but you need to be a little more well-rounded. Create a plan to immediately start building on your weak point. Whether it’s getting a taking a seminar, reading a book, or partnering with a personal coach, take that immediate step to build that weak point. If you’re looking to become funnier guy, buy a book on humor, get a comedy tape, or immediately make plans with one of your more humorous friends to soak up some lessons.

Attractiveness is not limited to your genes. Do it your way.

Dating Tips #1: Attraction

Have you ever felt insecure about the way you look? Or wished a part of your face looked different? Whether you believe yourself to be ugly, average, or handsome we’ve all felt insecure about our looks at some point.

We live in a society that defines beauty to us through everything from advertisements to scientific studies about facial symmetry. Most of us grow up believing that how attractive we are as people has so much to do with our physical qualities.

As an image coach I see so many people out there who build their confidence solely on their outer appearance.

The perception we have of ourselves fuels our confidence, and those who build their worth on mostly physical appearance have their self-esteem set on a sandy foundation.

A Bit of My Story…

I would not call myself a great looking guy by today’s standards. I consider myself to be pretty average looking.

Back when I was in highschool, I envied the guy that all the girls wanted for his “hotness.” He was a handsome guy, and he didn’t even have to do anything to have all the girls talking about him. It just didn’t seem fair.

I thought I could never become that attractive to women, but during school I met a friend who was average looking like me, who all the girls loved. It gave me hope and I made an effort to surround myself with these type of guys to learn what was so attractive about them.

I realized that their personality and character was more engaging and interesting to the girls than looks alone could ever be, and so I started to work relentlessly on my own attractive qualities like making people have fun and laugh around me.

I didn’t just do this for the women, but I wanted to prove to myself and all the other average looking guys out there that there is no reason why we can’t be the most attractive guys in a room. Even without being physically “hot” we could be “hot” through different ways.

Lessons from My Journey…

Here is a summary of lessons I’ve learned through this experience:

• Really good looking guys tend to attract a lot of shallow women, who just want them for sex or validation. This may serve them for short term gains, but unless they have great character, they will rarely keep women past the sexual fling. I’ve know many guys who get laid often but are still left totally unfulfilled because they haven’t experienced a genuine relationship. They are rarely motivated to proactively build their character beyond their looks because they’re always tempted to fall back on what easily works for them. Thus, the type of women they attract usually lose attraction for them after sex unless she gets a lot of validation from being around the guy. The same goes for women who have been highly attractive all of their life - usually a lot of them lack depth. It’s rare to meet ones with a well-rounded personality because they usually get everything they want through their looks. And because they don’t have much else going for them, men use them as trophy girlfriends, often ending in shallow and broken relationships.

• Average looking guys have the potential to attract the same, if not higher quality women than the genetically gifted. They can consider themselves the lucky ones because they have areas they can build that most good-looking guys in this world will rarely be motivated to.

• Being physically “hot” only touches the first layer of attraction

• If you’re looking for deep attraction, it can only happen through an expression of who you are on the inside

• Everyone has infinite potential to become more attractive through different channels

Showcasing Your Strengths

Any guy can showcase different areas of themselves to get that one-up on the genetically “gifted.” Throw away your social conditioning that you have to be the best looking guy, because all you have to do is build and naturally express your other strengths.

Here are some areas of yourself you can showcase:

• Humor – Ever notice that a group usually centers around the funniest guy? They say laughter is like a massage to a woman’s soul. Make a girl laugh and have fun around you all the time, and you’ll have the upper hand over all the lifeless guys out there. Stay away from self-deprecating, dirty, and obnoxious jokes. Some harmless teasing always goes a long way.

• Adventure – Secretly everyone wants someone to lead the way to something exciting and different. Create some positive disturbance in people’s routines and they’ll love you for adding some variety into their lives. For example, do some quick research to find the hidden gem restaurants your city or town is known for, then make it a little event by touring all the hot spots.

• Intelligence – Intelligence isn’t just about knowing a lot of things, because most of it could be useless. But if intelligence is your strength, then take your girl or group of friends out to a fun context that will showcase it. For example, take everyone out to a trivia night at the bar and the girls will have a riot as you proceed to destroy the room with your knowledge. Caveat: just be careful with showcasing intelligence because it’s something that should only be revealed through people drawing it out of you, through questions or topics that are brought up in conversation.

• Wisdom– Wisdom only comes through experience and personal development. This is a natural after effect of going out there and pushing yourself past your comfort zones. If you have some life experiences under your belt, grab a bottle of wine and two glasses and take a girl to a quiet location to muse about your past stories, life, the universe, and everything. She’ll think you’re both romantic and extremely wise at the same time.

• Ambition– A man who is highly ambitious and growing at exponential rates will always feel like one of the most attractive people in any group. He’ll find that he might have to “upgrade” his friends because he just can’t seem to relate anymore with his friends who are now on a path separate from his. The kind of confidence that comes from self-development exudes in every interaction.

• Leadership - Ever have those moments …”Hey what do you guys want to do?” “Uhhh don’t know…what do YOU want to do? Grab the wheel and take initiative for the group, even go as far as organizing an average Friday night out for your friends - they will thank you for it and the women will remember it.

• Body – You may not have a face that can grace the cover of Vogue, and there is little you can do about it. But you can work on sculpting your body to become more attractive. Work your body hard and show it off with some fitted clothing, or set a beach date. It showcases your discipline and willpower, not to mention women will find it sexy.

• Fashion – The way you dress can transform you from being seen as a dork to a stud. Build a style that reflects every quality that you want to express and make sure that never leave the house without looking your best. A great ideas it to go shopping with your female friends and give each other feedback on outfits. It’s awesome having a female perspective and they love the male perspective as well. I take it very lightly and try to make it fun by giving girls ridiculous outfits to try on and taking pictures of them doing silly poses.

Welcome

This is a dating site dedicated to Kenyans. For my first post, I would like to propose a wonderful dating website. This has worked for me so well on many different occasions.